I just found out why Ethan was crying profusely yesterday night when hubby and I were attending a wedding dinner, while grandma and Ethan's yiyi babysat him in one of the restaurants in the Hotel.
When we first left Ethan to the both of them, he was find indeed. Apparently, after we have left him about about 30 minutes, be began his whole crying saga and both grandma and yiyi couldn't understand why he was behaving that way.
And only much later (in fact now) that I found out that he is at this stage (around 7-8 months) where he becomes aware when we are not around. Technically, this is because children at this age haven't yet grasped the concept of object permanence -that you exist even when you're not with them.
Apparently this anxiety can last well past his first birthday. Sigh, will let you know if he is one of the "bad case".
Anyways, I found out that there are some ways of dealing with separation anxiety. Looks like mummy and daddy will need to pay special attention to these pointers:
1. Keep things familiar
If possible, have your child stay in his own home with someone he knows well -- grandparents, a caregiver. If he has to be away from home, don't separate him from his siblings, and make sure he has his favorite blankie. Routine is especially important for younger babies. A 4-month-old is too young to comprehend why Mom isn't with him, the most you can do is keep his daily routine the same.
2. Tell baby what to expect
Children really need to learn to trust you, so forecasting and then doing what you say you're going to do is very important. For kids under 3, a heads-up one or two days before you go is plenty. And don't skip an explanation because you think your child is too young to understand. Your tone of voice and your attitude send a message to your kids before they understand all the words.
3. Build anticipation
Whether he'll be going to the zoo with grandpa or baking cookies with grandma, emphasize how much fun your child will have while you're gone. It's also good to acknowledge his anxiety. You could say, "I know you're going to have a really good time with Grandma -- but it's okay if you miss me. You can tell Grandma you miss Mommy, and I bet Grandma will give you a really big hug."
4. Rehearse
Before your first kid-free trip, try some short practice runs. You want to help children gradually learn to tolerate separations. Try going out without your child a few nights a week. If that sounds unrealistic, an occasional overnight visit at Grandma's or a few afternoons with a babysitter can also help prepare your child for longer separations.
5. Always say good-bye
A baby can better adapt to separation if he sees Mommy and Daddy before they go. If he is sleeping or distracted when his parents leave, he may wake up, notice that you're not there, and start crying.
6. Leave a reminder of you
Leave something of yours behind with your baby. She could watch a video that you're in, look at a large picture of you, or sleep in one of your unwashed T-shirts.
7. Have a countdown until you return
Sometime after his second birthday, the child's sense of time improves. He may enjoy crossing out days on a calendar while you're gone, or marking them with stickers. Another idea is to give your child a box or bag of small gifts when you leave town. Then each day you're away, he gets to take out one gift.
8. Stay in touch
Consider sending postcards to the toddler before you leave so they'll arrive early in your absence. E-cards can also be written ahead of time and programmed to arrive when you choose. And of course, for children of all ages, phone calls are very reassuring. If your child starts to cry during your call, it's time to say good-bye -- and perhaps have the caregiver take him outside for a change of scenery.
9. Prepare for changes when you return
Many kids -- eager for your attention -- will act a little funny when you arrive home. Often you'll see a bit of regression/ It might be thumb sucking when they haven't done that for a while, or they may slip up in their potty training. But just like your child's fear of your leaving, this too shall pass.
Oh my, looks like we really need to prep him way in advance because our little boy is showing some signs that he is not happy when mummy and daddy are not around.
When we first left Ethan to the both of them, he was find indeed. Apparently, after we have left him about about 30 minutes, be began his whole crying saga and both grandma and yiyi couldn't understand why he was behaving that way.
And only much later (in fact now) that I found out that he is at this stage (around 7-8 months) where he becomes aware when we are not around. Technically, this is because children at this age haven't yet grasped the concept of object permanence -that you exist even when you're not with them.
Apparently this anxiety can last well past his first birthday. Sigh, will let you know if he is one of the "bad case".
Anyways, I found out that there are some ways of dealing with separation anxiety. Looks like mummy and daddy will need to pay special attention to these pointers:
1. Keep things familiar
If possible, have your child stay in his own home with someone he knows well -- grandparents, a caregiver. If he has to be away from home, don't separate him from his siblings, and make sure he has his favorite blankie. Routine is especially important for younger babies. A 4-month-old is too young to comprehend why Mom isn't with him, the most you can do is keep his daily routine the same.
2. Tell baby what to expect
Children really need to learn to trust you, so forecasting and then doing what you say you're going to do is very important. For kids under 3, a heads-up one or two days before you go is plenty. And don't skip an explanation because you think your child is too young to understand. Your tone of voice and your attitude send a message to your kids before they understand all the words.
3. Build anticipation
Whether he'll be going to the zoo with grandpa or baking cookies with grandma, emphasize how much fun your child will have while you're gone. It's also good to acknowledge his anxiety. You could say, "I know you're going to have a really good time with Grandma -- but it's okay if you miss me. You can tell Grandma you miss Mommy, and I bet Grandma will give you a really big hug."
4. Rehearse
Before your first kid-free trip, try some short practice runs. You want to help children gradually learn to tolerate separations. Try going out without your child a few nights a week. If that sounds unrealistic, an occasional overnight visit at Grandma's or a few afternoons with a babysitter can also help prepare your child for longer separations.
5. Always say good-bye
A baby can better adapt to separation if he sees Mommy and Daddy before they go. If he is sleeping or distracted when his parents leave, he may wake up, notice that you're not there, and start crying.
6. Leave a reminder of you
Leave something of yours behind with your baby. She could watch a video that you're in, look at a large picture of you, or sleep in one of your unwashed T-shirts.
7. Have a countdown until you return
Sometime after his second birthday, the child's sense of time improves. He may enjoy crossing out days on a calendar while you're gone, or marking them with stickers. Another idea is to give your child a box or bag of small gifts when you leave town. Then each day you're away, he gets to take out one gift.
8. Stay in touch
Consider sending postcards to the toddler before you leave so they'll arrive early in your absence. E-cards can also be written ahead of time and programmed to arrive when you choose. And of course, for children of all ages, phone calls are very reassuring. If your child starts to cry during your call, it's time to say good-bye -- and perhaps have the caregiver take him outside for a change of scenery.
9. Prepare for changes when you return
Many kids -- eager for your attention -- will act a little funny when you arrive home. Often you'll see a bit of regression/ It might be thumb sucking when they haven't done that for a while, or they may slip up in their potty training. But just like your child's fear of your leaving, this too shall pass.
Oh my, looks like we really need to prep him way in advance because our little boy is showing some signs that he is not happy when mummy and daddy are not around.
2 comments:
good shot! gonna show him how he is in future! ngehehehehehe
thing and mum wasn't happy at all... =(
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