Embrace

Embrace

I just got off the bed after putting Ethan to sleep.

He was out the whole day today, from joining us for dim sum lunch to doing massive grocery shopping and finally attended mass in the evening. Oh yes, it didn’t end there. We celebrated Adrian’s grandparent’s birthday; and that would mean Ethan’s great grandparents, (gung-gung: 87 and por-por:76). Very very blessed couple.

He was really excited seeing so many people and was his usual self. Jumping, cruising, crawling and yelling about. (Yes, our little friend is very vocal now). After cutting the birthday cakes, we finally bid our goodbyes. That was about 10pm. Ethan did not sleep the whole evening. He will normally have his evening naps about/around 9pm for about 30 minutes or so. Exceptional for tonight?!? I suppose he was really happy.

When we came home, he was already making quite abit of fuss. Cleaned him up, wiped him down and changed him to his pajamas. Gave him his last feed, rocked and lulled him to sleep and he finally sealed his tired eyes: calling it a night. Por-Por (My mum) is in town and therefore took over so that I could wind down myself. Came up to my room to checked my emails and half an hour later, I heard a loud scream from por por’s room. It was Ethan. (My little darling is at this stage where he needs to see daddy or mummy before he sleeps and while he is asleep, he needs to know that daddy and mummy is near him.) Went down to pick him up and saw tears all over his eyes. Poor little boy. And so I embraced him and whispered into his ears, mummy is here… don’t cry Ethan. It’s ok. Mummy is here. He calmed down and wasn’t crying anymore.

Placed him into his cot and 10 minutes later he was whimpering again. So, I pick my little champion up, whispered into his ears again, it’s ok Ethan, mummy is here. Don’t cry … it’s ok Ethan. Calmed down, he sucked his little thumb and went back to sleep. And this time, I had to cuddle him, rock him, sing to him and embrace him. I was doing that while lying down in my bed; admiring every bits of my little angel.

He is coming to 10 months/40 weeks/300 days old. This is how long God has given me happiness and love, ever since Ethan came into my life.

I always thought that one shouldn’t be carrying and cuddling a baby too much for the fear that it will “spoil” the baby. When I was cuddling Ethan to sleep just now, it finally dawn upon me that the last time I cuddled him that way was when I was still breastfeeding him full time, during the first 2 months of his life. I hardly get to cuddle him and admire him this way now because he is growing up so much and.. so fast and we hardly get to rock him to sleep during the day. He would play and go to sleep when he is tired.

I really miss hugging and cuddling Ethan to sleep. Like how I did when he was a few days old. This hope I would be able to cuddle him as long as I can. This magical feeling is indescribable; looking at him (admiring every bits of God's wonderful creation), holding his little hand and simply by embracing him.